So I just write lists of stuff right now. I’m trying out James Altucher’s daily practice (without a lot of success, but whatever). Sometimes I have a good one, so I keep it. Some of them will be put up here.

So in no particular order, here’s a wishlist of stuff that should just exist

  1. Easy Cherpumple gadget
    You know what a cherpumple is, right? It’s a three layer cake with three types of pie baked inside. According to Wikipedia, it can take three days to make. That’s crap.
    There’re gadgets to make everything. Bacon bowls, checkerboard cake, beer can chicken. Surely there’s some genius person out there who can make something that’s just like “put cake batter in special pan, and bake all pies and cakes at once. Voila Cherpumple!”
  2. Leave me alone signs
    Forget body language, sometimes we all just need a sign. Like one of those bright vests that people in dangerous jobs wear so any idiot can see them. Make it with emojis on it so small children can understand. Frowny face, angry face, leave me alone face.
  3. Career assignment officers
    Ok, so maybe the Futurama version doesn’t look so awesome. The whole being stuck with it your whole life thing is not what anyone would sign up for. But how sweet would it be for there to be someone who could pinpoint exactly the job you’re best at? How many people wander from job to job their whole life and never really find something that clicks? If there was some job that could say “Right now you’re best suited to be a penguin wrangler at the zoo” and be right; there could be a whole lot less aimless people looking for something to do.
  4. The Next Bacon
    I’m over the whole “everything should be made with bacon” thing. It’s annoying. I like a good slab of crispy pork fat as much as the next person, but does it have to be the fabric of our lives? I’m ready for something else. Anything else.
    Truffle oil. Dipping everything in butterscotch. Coffee. Cayenne pepper.
    Anything.
  5. A Fitbit that can convince your employer to let you do anything
    Yeah! Get out! Exercise!
    Or just wither away in your dark warehouse lit only by fluorescent lights and the last flickering hopes of your fellow employees. That’s what most of us do.
    Sure, the company has a “Biggest Loser” contest, but they don’t actually encourage you to go out during daylight hours or anything like that.
    Fitbit should find a way to hypnotize, bribe or blackmail some exercise and outside time out of some execs.
    Meh, that’ll probably only get you more jumping jacks at your morning meeting. Nevermind.
  6. Exercise shows for grownups that are like kids exercise shows
    Have you ever watched Bo on the Go? It’s a kids exercise show. It’s based on the idea that the main character gets energy in her power bands from the kids bouncing up and down in the living room. Ever done Zombies Run? Ever just listened to Zombies Run without actually running/walking?
    I find that both of these things elicit some serious guilt if I don’t participate. If I’m not running, I’m not listening to Zombies Run (although I understand there’s a way to do that). It’s some weird thing that if I’m not using the game right, I’m doing something wrong. Same with my kid’s exercise show.
    So why not bring the concept to tv? Daily burn should develop some kind of show with Zombies run or even better with their superhero version that’s for sit-ups and stuff. Make it so you getting up and running in place makes sense.
  7. In-home Wire rigs
    Hey, we can have stripper poles and trampolines, so why not wire rigs like the chinese action movie guys have? Are we really going to get into more trouble than we already do with treadmills and trampolines?
  8. Mind Typing
    Some way to just type with our minds.
    Nevermind, that’s a terrible idea.
    No, wait. Is it?
    Wait, what just happened?
  9. Baby doll sleep masks
    My husband is freaked out by doll eyes, and I know he’s not alone. So maybe just some nice sleep masks? They could come in packs of about six and your kid will think they’re so cool that you won’t even have to put them on. Bonus, she probably won’t take them all off, so you won’t have to put them back on much either.
  10. Clip on battery charger for cell phones
    There are batteries that charge just by setting them on the charger, and there are backup batteries. Put them together and have a charger that just clips on to the back or your phone. We already have battery packs all over the place, why make it so you have to remember a cord?
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